The Potty Chronicles – Potty Whisperer

Have I mentioned before that The Step is a freaking Potty Whisperer?

Just 24 hours with The Step and Sean will wear his big boy underwear AND sit on the potty – the BIG one…no special little potty seat needed.  He puts on his own underwear – albeit backwards…he stays dry all night….

Well, until The Step left…and then he cried when I made him sit on the potty…he tried to refuse to wear his underwear…he went to a corner and pooped in his diaper (he still sleeps in diapers)…

But I listened to the Potty Whisperer…and I invoke his wrath as necessary with Sean…

There will be tears – both Sean’s and my own – but we will make it to the other side of this whole potty training thing…hopefully in one piece…

 

For Aidan

Happy Birthday, Aidan.  Today you are seven years old…and while a part of me views you as really young (because you are), another part can’t believe how quickly you’re growing up…

So much has happened in the past year, so many changes…and you amaze me everyday…from the way you read to your brother to the way you hold my hand crossing the parking lot…

You held my hand today…and it was different than it used to be…your hand is strong, you’re filled with the confidence of youth – that thing that makes you believe anything is possible…and it’s in those moments that I know I haven’t somehow damaged you with the divorce…

When you say, “Yes ma’am” and “Please and thank you,” I know you’re going to be ok…

And you’re a good big brother, too…talking to Sean, playing with him, reading to him, helping him put his shoes on (when I beg you)…in these moments, I know you’re growing up just fine…

You still have your moments…crying tonight for 20 minutes because you couldn’t have a soda right before bed reminded me just how young you really are…

I’m very proud of you and love you more than I know how to express – even when I want to sell you to the gypsies…if this is who you are at 7, I can only imagine what the future holds…

Conversations With Sean

I heard a little sound behind me.

Me: “You pooted, Sean-Sean!”

Sean: “No, I farted, Mommy…”

And then I heard it again…

*****

Sean: “Where’s Aidan?”

Me: “He’s in the bathroom, Sean.”

Sean: “You mean he’s in the potty, Mommy.”

Oh, I thought we were using the proper words for things today.

*****

Sean: “Are we going to the washing car today, Mommy?”

Me: “No, we’re not going to the car wash today, baby.”

Sean: “It’s the washing car, Mommy.  It’s called the washing car.  Say washing car!”

For the record, I did not say “washing car.”

*****

Sean: “Where are we going, Mommy?”

Me: “We’re going to pick up Aidan.”

Sean: “And then what?”

Me: “And then we’re going home, Sean-Sean.”

Sean: “Yaaaaay! Yay!”

Me: “Yay!”

Sean: “Don’t say ‘yay,’ Mommy.  Don’t say it!”

*****

His vocabulary exploded about two months ago…but its his thought processes that are the most fascinating.  I don’t remember Aidan being like this at Sean’s age…so I have to assume it’s relatively unique to Sean.  It’s kind of fun talking to him…

Daycare vs. Home

There’s a battle going on with Sean…the battle between daycare and home.  God, I hope daycare wins…

At daycare, Sean will…

• Wear big boy underwear (Thomas, of course)
• Use the big boy potty – with little to no help
• Drink from a cup (with no straw)
• Drink water
• Eat carrots
• Say his shapes, colors, and ABCs
• Play with something other than a Thomas toy

At home, Sean will..,

• Only wear diapers or Pull-Ups
• Refuse to use the potty, even his Cars potty, and cry when I ask him to try
• Only use his cup with a lid and a straw, unless the sippy cup is available
• Drink only juice, chocolate milk if I bribe him
• Eat PopTarts, bananas, or whatever I’m having
• Refuse to say his shapes, colors, or ABCs…and pretend that green is red and that blue is purple
• Play with Thomas, while watching Thomas, while listening to a Thomas story and making up a Thomas story while he’s playing with Thomas…”Wheel-turn by wheel-turn, Thomas chuffed away, Mommy…”

I think I’m going to let the daycare win this one…they seem to be raising a fine young man!

A Break In The Monotony

I felt an emotional moodiness creep up on me today…I think it’s been working up to this point for days…everything feels too close, too restrictive…I want space – which is impossible to have…my emotions are at the surface…and on the drive home, I could feel myself going inward – to try and figure out why…

Part of the moodiness is a desire for something different…some intangible thing (that I have no name for)…and it makes me cranky…

When I realized I was overly cranky with the boys, I decided to go against my nature and get out of my head a little…so we had a little adventure tonight…

Sean is rocking the big boy underwear at daycare now…which means he comes home in them…

Sitting in the pick-up line to get Aidan, I hear, “Mommy, I gotta poop.”

Aw, hell no…

“Can you hold it?  Just squeeze, baby…”  Yes, I explained to a two year old how to “hold it.”

“O…..k….Mommy…” Clearly, he was trying to squeeze.

We stopped at Burger King on the way home to use their potty because he really had to go…the thought that this was just the beginning of a loan road of potty training came and went in my mind…I walked him into the bathroom, and he immediately said, “Noooooooooooooo!”

I refuse to force him to use the bathroom, further traumatizing him, so we left Burger King.  But of course, by the time we got home, there was a little mess to deal with.

This was a moment I could feel that moodiness and crankiness closing in on me.

Idea time…I got the boys their baths and into their pajamas…and we went to Sonic for dinner.  We sat in the car, ate our greasy junk food (my stomach is hating me right now), and ordered our dessert to go.  The car was off, the windows were down, and it was almost like a picnic…better than a restaurant – where they tend to get cranky…even better than the McDonald’s Play Place – where I tend to get cranky…

It was emotional eating at it’s best…but for one night, we broke up the monotony of our lives…we had a small adventure…and for brief moment, I kept the emotions at bay…

I Say Strange Things

“Aidan, get the rocks out of your underwear…now!”

“Get your face out of your brother’s butt…now!”

“Yes, you can hold your pee-pee, Sean-Sean.”

“Leave your brother’s privates alone…NOW!”

“It’s not tentacles…it’s testicles.”

“Aidan, give your brother back his nose so he’ll stop crying.”

“Spitting isn’t allowed…unless someone’s on fire.”

“Sure, a hot dog is healthy…well, it’s healthier than a Poptart…well…”

There are probably millions more insane things that I have uttered over the past almost seven years but those are the ones that stand out in my mind.  A few are fairly recent…some are said repeatedly.

I got to thinking about how I highlight a lot of the things the boys say, but I gloss over the fact that being a parent means that some crazy shit comes out of my mouth sometimes…

I’m tired…I need a glass of wine…they are somehow becoming more rambunctious…but damn, at least there’s plenty to laugh about!

The Benjamin Boys Are Pretty Freaking Awesome

I walked into Sean’s daycare class today…they were practicing shapes.  Sean raced to show me all the stamps on his hand – one for each shape he knew.

I looked at Cute Daycare Teacher…

Me: “He says his shapes for you?”

Cute Daycare Teacher: “Absolutely! And his letters and his numbers! He knows shapes like hexagon – don’t you, Sean-Sean?”

Everyone calls him Sean-Sean now…Lord, the things I start…

Apparently he’s using the potty like it’s nothing, too…we’ll bring the Thomas big boy underwear tomorrow so he can try those out during the day…

We did play a new game in the care on the way to pick up Aidan…I said one letter, and then he said a couple, and then I said the next, and then he said a few more…all the way to Z…we tried it with numbers – he’s still working on those…

*****

Aidan earned Member of the Week for his team at Boys and Girls Club…it came with a nifty certificate and a coupon for Dodge’s Fried Chicken (it’s part gas station – only in the South, baby!)…guess what we’re having for dinner later this week…especially since Friday is fried chicken night?

I was pretty impressed with him…considering two weeks ago he got in trouble for smacking another child in the face…

Aidan: “I didn’t hit him that hard, Mom!”

Right, like the police will one day care that the assault and battery charges being pressed against you are for a beating that wasn’t that hard…

*****

This positive reinforcement thing seems to work, too…Monday night is taco night…

Aidan: “What can I do to help?”

Me: stunned silence…

And then I put him to work…grating cheese, getting the sour cream out of the fridge…hell, y’all he even offered to help take out the trash…wait, what?

*****

Right before I got too complacent, Sean held on to my leg for dear life and cried for 20 minutes while I cooked dinner…Aidan even offered to play with him…but he wanted Mommy…he won, too…eventually I finished cooking, and I picked him up…30 seconds later, he was done with me…

*****

They freaking amaze me, y’all…

The Potty Chronicles – I’m Not Brave Enough Yet

Ok, because I’m sure everyone is dying to know how Sean is doing with the potty training thing, I’ll tell you…

Great! If you’re his daycare…stays dry all day, uses the potty at the designated times, and does a little happy dance about…woohoo!

Crappy (no pun intended), if you’re at our house.  I’ve slacked off, I know.  But progress has been made in one area – he doesn’t cry when I take his diaper off, forcing him to use the potty!  Woo…hoo?

When he does use the potty, like he did today, he’s very proud of himself…

“I pooped, Mommy!  Look!”

I do all the obligatory things…”Yay, Sean-Sean!”  “Woohoo! You did it!” “Good job!”  The whole time I’m thinking, “Oh holy hell, how does something that size come out of someone so small?!”

When I need to clean his butt, I asked him to lean forward a little…he does a downward facing dog pose for me…it’s simultaneously the cutest thing ever and a little gross…

“I farted, Mommy!”  And then he giggles…every time.  Thanks, dude.

The one thing I’m not ready for is the big boy underwear…he has it.  I just haven’t found the courage to let him wear it.  I like the diaperless thing – when he’s got to go, he can sit down on the potty by himself…no help from me required…until he’s done the deed, of course.

I know it’s not a big deal to clean up a mess…hell, I’ve been wiping his butt for nearly three years, now…what’s a little more, right?

Oh well, one more thing I’ll need to get over…and if it means he finishes with diapers and Pull-ups quicker, it’s ultimately worth it…

The Benjamin Boys Celebrate Their Independence

So here’s how my day started with The Benjamin Boys:

There was yelling, screaming, crying, whining…and then the boys joined in!

The original plans were to take the boys to the beach with Mom #2 and then go see fireworks.  The beach was postponed until Sunday (hopefully the weather will cooperate). I always like going to see the big fireworks shows in town, but on Wednesday when everyone has to get up early on Thursday, and the shows didn’t start until 9pm, you’ve got to be kidding me!  It was never going to happen…so we went with Plan B – Mom #2 and her family have pretty much adopted us, so we celebrated the Fourth with them.  The boys had a great time!

See?  This was after the hotdogs, chips, and Madagascar Jello wiggler things…and right before the fireworks.

The boys have never done fireworks at “home” before.  They’ve never thrown the popper things (I have no clue what they’re called – because tonight was the first time I’ve ever thrown them, too).

They watched Pseudo Little Brother (Mom #2’s offspring) light the fireworks in the street.  They weren’t as impressed as the adults, but no matter.

They played.  They ate more Jello.  They ate cake that was made to look like a hamburger.

Mom #2 and I did this:

A 3D puzzle that made our eyes ache…but we refused to let a puzzle made for ages 3-7 beat us, damn it!

It was a good day – even if it did start out a little rough…

The Benjamin Boys Said What?

Aidan: “I got your nose, Sean-Sean!

Sean: “Noooooo!  Mommy, make Aidan give me back my nose!”

Me: “Aidan, give your brother back his nose so he’ll stop crying.”

Did I really just say that?

*****

Aidan: “How do you do sux, Mom?”

Me: “Ummm…why do you care about that anyway?”

And, for whatever reason, the conversation stopped there.  Hallelujah!

*****

Driving past a cemetery, Aidan: “Is that where they put the dead bodies, Mom?”

Me: “Yes, people who have died are buried there.”

A long pause, I can almost hear the wheels turning…

Aidan: “Are our country’s fathers buried there?”

Wait, what?  What followed was a confused conversation about forefathers, dead people, and our country…my head hurts.

*****

Sean: “I colored a picture, Mommy!”

Me: “You sure did!”

Sean: “My daddy is going to be so proud of me!”

Me: “Yes, he is baby.”

He better damn well be proud…

*****

Sean: “Take my picture, Mommy!”

Me: “Ok, baby!”