Giving Myself A Good Talking-To…Somebody Has To Do It
For a brief moment tonight I thought, “I am so tired of looking on the freaking bright side all the time!”
That lasted about 2.3 seconds because I don’t EVER want to be sad-girl. I don’t want to be the one who drags the whole room down just because I’ve entered it. And I am fully aware that negative thinking is a self-fulfilling prophecy…
So, while I was taking a shower and getting the wet dog smell off of me, I gave myself a good talking-to…
“Ok, dammit, yes, you’re tired and a little isolated right now. You did choose to get a divorce, you know. You could have stayed with him and never been alone…but you would still be miserable. Is that what you want? I didn’t think so!
Yes, the only adult you talk to on the weekends is your own mother and sometimes Almost Ex (which is never the highlight of your day). No, you DON’T have a social life because putting the boys on a shelf just isn’t an option (people get arrested for things like that).
But it WILL get better. You know it will. Everything worth having in life requires hard work. This is hard work. Your reward will come. Eventually, Almost Ex will contribute in some way OR you’ll find (and be able to afford) a babysitter. It will NOT be this way forever. So quit bitching!
There are so many people who have it worse…and yes, that’s a scary thought. Yes, that means that it could get worse before it gets better. But if you think that’s what will happen, then it will. Stop it! Stay positive.
Big Brother tells you all the time how much potential you have. Your mother certainly believes it. The people who care about you are there for you and believe in you. You just have to reach out. How do they know how to help unless you talk to them?
And yeah, go ahead and have a good cry when you need one. It’s good for the soul. Just follow it up with a big belly laugh. You know your laugh is huge (and obnoxious) – exploding out of nowhere when something strikes you as hilarious. You need more laughter in your life.
Instead of talking about what you need, go out there and grab it! And by the way, STOP eating cheeseburgers everytime you have to go near Almost Ex! It’s not good for you in SO many ways…”
Well, somebody had to do it, so I guess it’s a good thing it was me. Anyone else would have gotten cussed out. 🙂