Today, Today, Today…

I just need to take one deep breath…just one…then maybe my shoulders will stop hanging out around my ears…

I wasn’t tense when I got up this morning…at 6am on a Sunday…I had a hot date, you know…and typical of my life these days, 30 minutes in, Aidan woke up…really?!  Why was he awake SO freaking early????  I finished up on the treadmill while he whined that it was taking “toooooooo looooooooooooooooooooong, Mommeeeeeeeeeee”…I guess that should have been an indication of the day ahead…

The cool thing about working out early in the morning is all the energy I have for the rest of the day…I cooked breakfast, cleaned house, did laundry, ran errands, made dinner, changed out the old toilet seats (more on that later), folded more laundry, gave baths, was attacked by Aidan pretending to be a Pokemon character, talked to my mom, talked to Almost Ex, almost had a nervous breakdown (more on that, too), got the children to bed, dealt with little boys who didn’t want to sleep, got BACK on the treadmill (because I needed to clear my mind), put Aidan BACK to bed, and still haven’t stretched from this evening’s workout or gotten my SECOND shower of the day.  And if you felt breathless after that, imagine how I feel…

I woke up still feeling empowered from yesterday…so I decided to go to Lowe’s and tackle some small but overwhelming chores.  We desperately needed new toilet seats in both bathrooms…I changed ’em…with only one call to my mom’s house and five cuss words…I would have taken pictures but that seemed a little weird (even for me)…I don’t do plumbing…and yeah, toilet seats aren’t really plumbing, but it’s closer than I’ve ever been, so I think it counts…

I hadn’t heard from Almost Ex in four days…I thought I knew why and I was right…because it’s not my story to tell, I won’t tell it here…but he had a rough weekend…and while everyone who loves me says it’s his own fault and its because of his own bad choices, I still couldn’t help but feel guilty…if I had never asked for the divorce, he wouldn’t have made those stupid decisions…but I know that’s faulty thinking…but that threw me off for the rest of the evening…I’m not the type of person to wish harm on another person, especially someone I’ve cared about in the past…so while there are people who would very correctly say he got what he deserved, I still can’t be that objective…maybe one day…

Thank God for my treadmill…I have a feeling this is going to be a co-dependent relationship…and if I have to have one of those, let it be with a treadmill!

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About Michaela Mitchell

A few things come to mind easily when I think of myself - a mom, a friend, a daughter, a hard-worker. But there's so much more to me - and I just have to discover what it is.

Posted on June 26, 2011, in Moments in Life, Thinking and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. Sounds a bit like my ex husband in the way of reactions to things. I got a call 3 years ago when we both lived in AZ saying he was moving to ID. (I knew it would come to that eventually) I said ok when…he said tomorrow…and off he went. Like i said I knew it would come to it eventually but didn’t think it would happen that quickly. He had been dealing with some stuff to though and just needed to leave

  2. yeah i know exactly what you mean..then there are other times he does stuff and i think yup you haven’t changed one bit

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