The Miracle of Mashed Potatoes
Two shots in the butt and a giant bowl of mashed potatoes and gravy later, and I feel so much better, it’s amazing.
I barely slept last night…woke up, needed to swallow, physically braced myself for the pain, swallowed, rolled over…repeat every 15 minutes…ALL night. This is all while my ears are literally on fire and the only relief is the pressure of laying on that ear…but since both ears hurt, only one side at a time got any relief…every 15 minutes…ALL night.
I woke up this morning, starving, but knowing I would need something I could suck through a straw…and the idea of swallowing even a smoothie made me cringe – because I’m damned tired of them and because it would still hurt…and so mentally worn down from being sick all week that I was near tears on my drive to work (and I really hate that)…I was tired of hurting, tired of being hungry all the time, tired of forcing myself to be at least at the 90% mark from morning to night, TIRED of freaking smoothies and milkshakes…yeah, it was a total pity party…
I had hit my breaking point…and I finally went to the doctor. Ok, so you’re wondering why the hell I didn’t go earlier? Well, Tuesday, when I called in sick, I literally slept ALL day…by the time I woke up, I had to pick up the boys…and I had to convince myself to get out of the bed to do that! And yes, my co-workers and boss would have understood if I had taken a day to go to the doctor…but the mound of work is already so high everyday…a day or two away, and I’m drowning in it (more than usual)…
But this morning, I was over it. This was for the birds! So I went to work, delegated about a million things, informed everybody that I was going to immediate care, and I didn’t know or care how long it was going to take, but I would be back to finish my big-big-had-to-be-done-today-no-other-option task. Two hours and two shots later, I was back.
When I complained about needing something to eat (I only took 5 sips of that stupid smoothie all day), someone suggested mashed potatoes and gravy…and I swear to you the Hallelujah chorus started playing from the sky…it was brilliant! And why the hell hadn’t I thought of it earlier? So that was lunch…and apparently, my meds kicked in about the same time I ate, because I felt SO good…I still hurt, I’m still sick…but it’s SUCH an improvement…so yay for shots to the butt and mashed potatoes with gravy.
On a side note, this has been a great way to lose weight…but I don’t think I should consider being sick an official weight loss plan.