I Am Doing it ALL Wrong
I’ve been single, divorced, whatever, since August 8…and I have yet to take a single moment and reflect, laugh, celebrate – pick something but I haven’t done it. No one has celebrated with me…my entire family was in town for the weekend, and it was only discussed briefly. My friends are too busy or too far away. And it’s still illegal to put your children on shelf so you can go out at night…
But I’m doing this wrong. So I can’t run off the New Orleans (yet) with Eebee for the big celebration. Ok. So I can’t buy myself a cake (or even a cupcake) because I’m trying not to eat that stuff right now. Ok. So my life didn’t actually change all that much (except for the name thing). Ok. None of that is relevant.
I have to mark this occasion with something…as sad as a divorce can be (it is the death of a marriage), it’s also a new, completely unwritten chapter in my life. I am a single woman…for the first time in my adult life. This is new territory…this is a blank slate…this is me deciding that I will NOT be the cat lady (note to self: do not buy a cat…EVER.).
I have come to a decision…Saturday night I will sit in my house and do SOMETHING to commemorate this new beginning. I don’t care if it’s me, a bottle of white zinfandel, and noise makers, but I will mark the occasion. It will probably be me, the wine, and a noisemaker…but it’s all good. What I’ve learned (and am still learning) through this whole process is that you have to create your own moments, your own happiness, your own memories…you can’t depend on the world to take care of those things for you…if you do, you’ll be sitting around waiting on nothing.
If you want to celebrate with me, even if you’re half-way across the world, have a drink with me Saturday night – wine, kool-aid, or whatever. Even if it’s virtual, the moment should be shared. I am on my way…there will be bumps, bruises, sad times, stressful times, and everything else, but it’s life on my terms and it deserves a good start.