Feeling Soft

Please do not mistake that title as anything warm, fuzzy, and/or sweet…I mean soft as in flabby, lacking definition, blech…

A couple of weeks ago I made the decision to let something, anything slide so that I could sort of maintain my sanity…and it ended up being exercise.  Yes, I realize that if I exercised I would probably have more energy, sleep better, feel better about myself, and a million other things…I could write the book on why I should work out…

Unfortunately, I’ve also been emotionally eating for a couple of weeks – yes, I am an emotional eater…stress, conflict, uncertainty – those are my usual triggers…I don’t feel like I have time…I constantly feel rushed…there’s always something else that needs to be done, handled, finished, completed, submitted, whatever…it never stops…and so I never stop…it’s my own fault…

And all of this has created this horrible soft, mushy feeling…and I hate it!

I was becoming firm, toned, high and tight…now, not so much…my treadmill just looks on in sadness, wondering when I’ll come play again…

I keep telling myself when life calms down a little – especially work – I’ll focus on myself again.  I know taking time for me is the healthiest thing I can do…I get that…I just need to slow down a little first…

As for the emotional eating, I have another reason excuse for that one…The Ex told me yesterday that he’s getting married in October…at the end of October…but he assured me it wouldn’t be on my birthday…um…ok?  Eebee wondered if I was going to be ok once it sank in…surprisingly, it doesn’t bother me…it seems strange to me….but it doesn’t hurt at all or make me angry…I feel like I’m learning something about a stranger…it’s just information that has no bearing on my life…is that healthy?

I wish it would mean he’d stop being so interested in my personal life, but somehow I doubt that…

But, it hasn’t stopped me from reaching for the cheeseburgers, either…

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About Michaela Mitchell

A few things come to mind easily when I think of myself - a mom, a friend, a daughter, a hard-worker. But there's so much more to me - and I just have to discover what it is.

Posted on September 20, 2011, in Random and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Wow yeah how awfully nice of him to make sure he doesn’t get married on your birthday…sigh

  1. Pingback: Remove Your Ex Handles | Do You Really Get Help

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