Last Time…

Today was a lot of last’s…

The last time I made the boys leave the house at 6:15am to drop them off at daycare and Boys & Girls Club (15 minutes after they woke up)…

The last time I drove 45 minutes to get to work…

The last time I had to leave work at exactly the right time just to pick up the boys in time to avoid being charged extra money…

The last time I had to hope the 45 minute drive wasn’t going to turn into an hour drive because of traffic…

I’ve been anxious and edgy since I walked in the door tonight…I don’t know if it’s nerves from the move, good and bad memories hitting me, or just an overwhelming desire to get the hell out…or all of the above…

I wish I could look around this house with a sense of nostalgia…I don’t…I’m not sure if it’s because I’m not a sentimental person or if I really do hate it here…

I hurt for the boys because they’re going to miss their friends and teachers…I hurt for the unfulfilled promises I see around this house…but I’m not hurting because I’m leaving…

My hope is that these feelings fade away as I adjust to the new place…I’m sure they will…I want it to happen quickly…and I think once the the moving process starts tomorrow, I’ll be excited…

Packing up everything by myself has been tiring and a little overwhelming, but it’s getting done…and is going better than any other move I’ve ever done…maybe because I’m doing it my way…on my schedule…based on my timetable…me, myself, and I…maybe because it’s just meant to be…maybe because I’m that person who just puts her head down and gets the job done…

Tomorrow is the start of something new…and I desperately need it.

Advertisements

About Michaela Mitchell

A few things come to mind easily when I think of myself - a mom, a friend, a daughter, a hard-worker. But there's so much more to me - and I just have to discover what it is.

Posted on October 28, 2011, in Moments in Life and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: