A Slightly Different Thanksgiving

Ever since I can remember, I’ve spent Thanksgiving with my mom…when my dad was still alive, I would come home from college for the holidays…after I graduated college, The Ex and I were with my mom while she and I tried to create new traditions…after she remarried, The Ex and I joined The Step’s family and tried to blend in with their family traditions, which thankfully amounted to eating – a LOT…

I don’t dwell on this a lot, but I’m going through a year of firsts…the first Thanksgiving as a single mom shouldn’t have been much different than in year’s past…I should have gone to my mom’s…because of a lack of reliable transportation, the 2+ hour trip to MS didn’t happen this year – and since my mom works retail, she’ll be getting up VERY early tomorrow, so coming to me was out…

I had plenty of invitations to spend Thanksgiving with friends…and for whatever reason, I couldn’t make myself commit to any of them…I had some sort of mental block about being with anyone other than family…I kept making the joke that I might just take the boys out for Chinese…well, that’s just about what happened…except I invited The Ex to join us…

I didn’t like the idea of him not seeing the kids on Thanksgiving if he had the opportunity…and neither of us was cooking some big dinner…so we did what apparently a lot of people do – we went out to Golden Corral…so did half the city…

It was good, it wasn’t too expensive…it was awkward…it was harder than I thought…I missed my mom…I missed the food…I even missed the awkwardness that always came with being around The Step’s family…not that they aren’t wonderful – they are…I just haven’t been around them enough to feel completely comfortable…I wondered if my awkwardness with The Step’s family was because The Ex didn’t like being there…he always thought they were judging him (I don’t think they were)…I wonder what it will be like the next time I’m with them…

I wonder if I will ever have the initiative or energy to create new traditions…I wonder if I will ever be the one to cook the big meal…I wonder how I’m going to get through Christmas…

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About Michaela Mitchell

A few things come to mind easily when I think of myself - a mom, a friend, a daughter, a hard-worker. But there's so much more to me - and I just have to discover what it is.

Posted on November 24, 2011, in Moments in Life, Thinking and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. You will have the energy and the want to create new traditions. I rememeber my first holidays as a single mom. Here I had moved to AZ to be closer to my parents and when Thanksgiving came around they told me they didn’t want me and the kids there because they were too young and they had already invited all their friends before we had moved down(we moved down in August)and they didn’t really want to cook for that many people….yeah I know.

    It will come. Surround yourself with friends. I still have a pic from my first Christmas that a friend of mine took and put into a frame. She reminded me that I would make it through…and I did!!!!

    Hugs!

  1. Pingback: Not So Thankfully « ARay of Sunshine

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