It Could Be Worse

I tell myself, and others remind me all the time, that it could be worse…I know that’s supposed to be comforting, but it mostly just scares the crap out of me…you mean, the situation could get worse??

I am a single mom with no help from The Ex…so without looking at a single bank statement, you know I’m one of those “working poor” that politicians keep talking about (and no, I’m not making any political statements)…I work…I have a good job…compared to people with real problems, I’m a freaking millionaire…

This isn’t a re-hash of my money stresses…it’s a given that someone in my situation is broke…what has me upset today (as opposed to any other day) is that even though I am fully aware of my situation, I get really angry when I have to ask for help…I won’t ask for help for myself unless it’s huge (Bubba not working correctly was huge)…but I can go without…and in some cases, so can the boys…

As long as necessities are taken care of, the extras are just that – extra…but I get so tired of saying no all the time…and of explaining that I can’t afford that…or suggesting that they ask Santa (even though I know damn well Santa isn’t bringing that toy)…so today I reached out and asked for help…and now Aidan will get to go on a field trip (2 actually)…and he’ll get to play basketball in January…

What bothers me is the blow to my pride when I ask for help…and I can hear people now…this isn’t about pride…I shouldn’t worry about my pride…pride doesn’t matter when it’s your children…I know all of that…but when you don’t have much else, sometimes pride and dignity are all that you have…I have a lot more than most people…I recognize that…I have a safe place to live…I have lights, heat, running water, and food…there are people in my own town that don’t have that…I am lucky…no one has to tell me that…

It could be worse, and that’s what scares me…

About Michaela Mitchell

A few things come to mind easily when I think of myself - a mom, a friend, a daughter, a hard-worker. But there's so much more to me - and I just have to discover what it is.

Posted on December 19, 2011, in Word Vomit and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Omg. I have that same problem. I’d rather shrivel up and die before I ask anyone for help. Who knows why I ended up with do much pride but I did. I feel your pain. I’m in the same boat. Yea. It could be worse, but it also could be better. Think of it that way! So glad your son is gonna get to go on his field trips! Sometimes you just gotta eat your pride and do what you gotta do!

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