Stuff…Lots of Stuff

Every time I thought I knew what I wanted to write about, something else happened…so this one is reminiscent of the Potpourri category on Jeopardy…

I won a blogging award!  It’s the Liebster award for bloggers with less than 200 followers…apparently it started in Germany and Liebster is German for “beloved person.” The most Twisted Domestic Goddess named me a winner, and I love her for it! She practically lives in a frat house and cooks for like a million people (and enjoys it!)…but she’s been where I’m at right now – recently divorced, single mom, clueless about the next step – so when she speaks (ok blogs), I listen…I adore you, Wendy!

So, now to award my own fellow bloggers with the Liebster…hmmm, this is sort of hard because most of the blogs I follow are not small…

1. Running with Scissors – because whether single or married, raising small children and keeping your sanity are hard to do at the same time.

2. MyJourneyMyRules – because I think she and I could have been separated at birth…and I’m using her horror stories as the reason I will never do the online dating thing.

3. Bandia17 – because if she ever manages to find that 25th hour of the day so she can spend more time blogging, she will have SO much to say…and because I get what she’s going through…

I’m supposed to pick a 4th and 5th blog, but the other’s I would mention seem to have a TON of followers and so technically don’t qualify…but Morning Wood, you are definitely one I was thinking of….

Ok, so the rules for accepting and passing on the award:

1.  Show your thanks to the blogger who gave you the award by linking back to them.
2.  Reveal your top 5 picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.
3.  Post the award on your blog.
4.  Bask in the love from the most supportive people on the internet – other writers.
5.  And best of all – have fun and spread the Karma!
6.  Right click on the award image to save it to your computer and then upload to your blog!

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Boys are dumb…either that or my karma sucks…the boy I wish had time for me (BBFF) barely does…and the boy I wish would just go the hell away (The Ex) thinks it’s ok to drunk text and drunk dial me…really?!  And then you want to be shocked when a. I don’t respond to any of your texts or calls and b. I seem to have an “attitude” when I’m around you…

I’m not sure if my expectations are too high (in regards to BBFF), if I’m just too intense, or if I really am viewing this correctly…

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I just want to raise good little boys (most of the time) into good men…I want them to respect women…respect what women do for them…realize that no woman should have to do it all…understand the importance of communicating (I am constantly reminding Aidan to “use his words” – especially when he starts crying for no reason or screams in frustration when he doesn’t get what he wants)…

I want them to be strong…but not be afraid of their own emotions…I want them to understand what give and take is all about…I want them to cherish the people they love…

They’re young, I get it…but I have to surround them with as many positive influences as possible…which is why there are moments when it wouldn’t hurt my feelings if The Ex just left…the only reason I keep making him do as much as I can is because there are some pains I don’t want them to know (especially at 6 and 2)…but he doesn’t exude (at least with me) any of the qualities I want my boys to have…so, every once in a while, I have a moment when I think, “Just go away…please.”

And yes, I realize, I will put in all this effort and they may still end up being different than I’d like…I get it…I’ll love them no matter what…but at the end of this life, I need to know I did the best for my babies…I wish I believed their own father felt the same way…

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I’m starting to think about 2012…and the goals I want to accomplish…I don’t do resolutions (those are made to be broken), but I do set new goals…and I think I want to focus on my writing more…my big big dream is to one day write AND get paid to do it…oh, and paid enough that I’m not also working at Mickie D’s…but everything in baby steps…so I’m thinking about expanding some of my blogging horizons…still pondering though…

I have other things I want to focus on too…I’ve got plenty of time to think over the next few days, map out a plan, and set it in motion…I am absolutely looking forward to 2012…