What I Learned in 2011
365 days ago, I promise I would never have believed I would be where I’m at today…the end of 2010 and the beginning of 2011 found me sad, angry, confused, and in constant turmoil…one year later and life is so different that I find it hard to fathom some days…
On the last day of the craziest year of my life so far, I can’t stop thinking of the things I learned this year…
I learned even though it hurts to break someone’s heart, it’s better than living a lie.
I learned that divorce sucks…no matter who leaves.
I learned who truly loves me…and who never did…and who no longer does.
I learned that I can survive and even thrive (a little) in a work and home environment in turmoil and chaos.
I learned that I am capable of doing the “boy” jobs – killing and disposing of bugs, moving furniture, putting together toys, hooking up electronics, plumbing, – and that I still have a lot to learn.
I learned that I can be content by myself, but that it’s ok to wish I had someone by my side.
I learned that I have some maternal instincts…and I can lay down the law to Aidan and Sean when necessary.
I learned that I can do what’s absolutely necessary to get through the day and let the rest go…no need for perfection.
I learned that I am not unique in the single mom life that I now live…and if I reach out for it, there are a lot of people who support me, believe in me, and who will lend a helping hand.
I learned that asking for help is not a sign of weakness.
I learned how to stretch dollars even further than I could before…my money is transparent it’s stretched so thin.
I learned how to let go of my expectations for other people…I can’t make someone be what I want them to be…I either decide to accept them for who they are or let them go.
I learned that I can love again…and that it’s scary, but that’s ok.
I learned that I can cry and scream on the inside…while maintaining a calm exterior.
I learned that it’s ok to be vulnerable with the people that matter.
I learned that I am truly independent but capable of leaning…a little.
2011 was a turning point in my personal and professional life. I’m ready to move into a new year…this time I’m filled with hope and determination…