What I Learned in 2011

365 days ago, I promise I would never have believed I would be where I’m at today…the end of 2010 and the beginning of 2011 found me sad, angry, confused, and in constant turmoil…one year later and life is so different that I find it hard to fathom some days…

On the last day of the craziest year of my life so far, I can’t stop thinking of the things I learned this year…

I learned even though it hurts to break someone’s heart, it’s better than living a lie.

I learned that divorce sucks…no matter who leaves.

I learned who truly loves me…and who never did…and who no longer does.

I learned that I can survive and even thrive (a little) in a work and home environment in turmoil and chaos.

I learned that I am capable of doing the “boy” jobs – killing and disposing of bugs, moving furniture, putting together toys, hooking up electronics, plumbing, – and that I still have a lot to learn.

I learned that I can be content by myself, but that it’s ok to wish I had someone by my side.

I learned that I have some maternal instincts…and I can lay down the law to Aidan and Sean when necessary.

I learned that I can do what’s absolutely necessary to get through the day and let the rest go…no need for perfection.

I learned that I am not unique in the single mom life that I now live…and if I reach out for it, there are a lot of people who support me, believe in me, and who will lend a helping hand.

I learned that asking for help is not a sign of weakness.

I learned how to stretch dollars even further than I could before…my money is transparent it’s stretched so thin.

I learned how to let go of my expectations for other people…I can’t make someone be what I want them to be…I either decide to accept them for who they are or let them go.

I learned that I can love again…and that it’s scary, but that’s ok.

I learned that I can cry and scream on the inside…while maintaining a calm exterior.

I learned that it’s ok to be vulnerable with the people that matter.

I learned that I am truly independent but capable of leaning…a little.

2011 was a turning point in my personal and professional life. I’m ready to move into a new year…this time I’m filled with hope and determination…

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Posted on December 31, 2011, in Independent Michaela, Moments in Life and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. awesome. You learned something, that means your 2012 was a complete success.

  2. It was inspiring to read your post. My story is a little opposite. On this date last year, I was the happiest I have ever been in my life. I had made a best friend. Less than one year later…and we no longer speak to one another?!

    I learned a lot this year, but most of it was about myself…and this can be quite embarrassing, or humbling. Still, I needed to learn these things about myself.

    I learned that I can be pretty selfish, and that I was so used to being selfish that I had become practically unaware of it.

    I learned that when someone accuses me of being selfish I tend to become defensive.

    I learned that becoming defensive is an ineffective way to deal with people who are being critical and judgmental.

    I learned that I do not have to keep on condemning myself, just because someone that I care about has decided to give up on me.

    I learned that I have the power to make changes in my life…to learn how to be more useful and productive and less selfish, but that learning how to undo over 40 years of selfish habits does not happen over night; I have to be patient with my progress.

    I learned that if I do not let go of my anger toward those I care about, then I will eventually retaliate by saying things I wish I had not said…I learned that I would rather just let go of my grudges and forgive people, instead.

    I also learned to believe the best in others…even if I have to do a little pretending at first…I learned that if I believe the best then that is usually what they end up becoming.

    I learned that forgiving others is coming a lot easier for me now that I have learned to forgive my own imperfections and weaknesses.

    Although I feel sad today, because my dear friend that I had this time last year and I no longer speak…I do feel hopeful about the New Year. I truly believe it is a new chance given to me to live a different life that is not as selfish as my old life. I have learned the hard way that I would rather get rid of that selfishnss, than lose dear friends because of it…if that makes sense…

    Hope you have a great year! I was a single mom for about eight years. It is tough, but it also builds us up, showing us how much we are actually capable of doing for our family! It makes us stronger, I think??

    Katie

    • Thank you for sharing that…sounds like you learned a lot this year. I’m sorry for the loss of your friend, but with the realizations you’ve come to, you’ll probably find another friend in the year to come.

  3. Michaela – great post! If you’ve learned one thing about yourself in 2011, then the year is a success! May 2012 bring you health, happiness, and success no matter what angle it comes in!

    Best Regards,
    Chris

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