A Good Cry

I have a few friends who firmly believe in the validity of having a good cry…be shocked, those friends are female…right now I believe in the necessity of it, too…except…

Except, I can’t…I need to…I almost want to…I have a lot of pent-up emotions…stress, disappointment, residual tension from other people, you name it…I can feel the tears, but I can’t let go of them…

I don’t know if it’s because of some control factor…or if it’s because my dad taught me not to cry too much…”Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about!” As an adult, I see the irony of that statement…and as a kid, I hated it…but I do feel like I need a “reason” to cry…I guess emotional release just isn’t one of them…

Nothing much is going on…but it has been a long week of work and travel…and it was a good week…its the same stresses that are always there, but today, for whatever reason, my emotions have come right to the surface…I wish I could just let go of them…

The Ex watched the boys while I was out of town, and I’m guessing it was a long 5 days, because he was ready to go very shortly after we met up with one another…and something about that bothered me…not that he was leaving quickly or that he was leaving at all…but I don’t think I was ready to step back in the role of single parent…not that not being ready matters…you do what you have to do…but I didn’t feel good, I was tired, and I was overly emotional…thankfully the boys decided to behave themselves…

BBFF said something a few weeks ago that got my attention…he said that instead of being someone who wants to prove to the world that I can handle it all on my own, I am finally in the mindset of having a relationship with someone who can be a partner…he’s probably right (he usually is)…too bad I can’t just twitch my nose and make that happen…even though if twitching my nose made things happen, I’ve got a few things on my list that would take priority over a relationship…

I left the stresses and pressures of real life behind for a few days and had the luxury of concentrating solely on work…I came home to the exact same pressures and stresses…and I guess I wasn’t prepared…I wish that whole crying thing worked…

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About Michaela Mitchell

A few things come to mind easily when I think of myself - a mom, a friend, a daughter, a hard-worker. But there's so much more to me - and I just have to discover what it is.

Posted on January 15, 2012, in Thinking, Word Vomit and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. Remember me posting a few weeks ago about needing to cry but not being able to?Yeah Im still pretty much there as well.

  2. Such a true post – I can completely relate. And my dad told me the same thing! So sometimes I watch a particularly sad movie to force the cry. Usually that helps. This past weekend it was Toy Story 3 (I know, not a sad one, right?). My two boys were like, “Mom, what is wrong?” And I just said I was sad about Andy going to college. They looked at me and said, “We will stay with you and live in the basement when we are older.” Goodie.

  1. Pingback: Sometimes You Need A Good Cry | Lara: On the Weigh Down

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