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Working On Mother of the Year

Apparently, hope springs eternal, and I’ve decided to try for the totally real fictitious Mother of the Year award…

I had lunch with Aidan for Thanksgiving…mmm, pressed turkey and canned green beans…I had lunch with Sean for Thanksgiving….mmm, turkey lunch meat and canned green beans…clearly, I didn’t attend for the culinary horrors delights offered for lunch…after last weekend’s scare, I feel compelled to be more involved…I just want to do stuff with them…

And because I’m a glutton for punishment feeling this way, we’re going to go see Santa as he arrives at the mall tomorrow…with the other hundreds of shrieking children…yaaaay…the boys are excited, so that’s all that’s supposed to matter…my impending headache is nothing compared to that…

Then, because I’m insane a good mother, I’m driving my children to Georgia to see their father…actually, I’m driving to Georgia for him to sign necessary paperwork to move the sale of our old home along faster, as he claims he has no access to a printer or the ability to sign anything digitally (the only excuse I would believe)…to give you the scope of this, the drive to Georgia is over 5 hours – and we’re doing the trip in one day…yaaaay…I like a good adventure, and I plan to be as prepared as possible for this…a charged Nintendo DS, a charged iPad, snacks, drinks, blankies, and an understanding that we will stop to use the bathroom at least twice – each way…yaaaay…

Oh well, no one ever said winning a fake award would be easy…

 

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A Good Christmas

I didn’t know what to expect today…another first has come and gone, and there were enough perfect moments that it’s almost impossible to focus on anything negative…now that’s a good day…

I barely slept last night…could it be because I was anticipating Christmas? Or because I was sleeping on the couch (I always give my mom and The Step my bed when they visit)? Or because it was yet another first and I had to deal with it? Probably all three…

My mom was up at 6:30 this morning starting the turkey…I think Aidan was up about 30 seconds later…as excited as he was to see his presents from Santa, he still managed to show patience most adults don’t have and let everyone wake up first…

Opening presents, eating candy, taking pictures – our Christmas was probably pretty typical for most people…my mom and I cooked Christmas dinner together which was nice…the fact that we both made it work in my small kitchen was the Christmas miracle, I think…the food was delicious…that woman knows how to bake a freaking turkey…if my dad had a grave, he’d be rolling in it with laughter, because he and I were the ones to suffer through her experiments 20 years ago when she didn’t have a clue how to boil water..

I was surprised (and a little sad) that the boys didn’t ask about The Ex…I’m hoping it was because of the excitement of the day…my fear is that they’re getting used to him not being around as much…I didn’t exclude him, but he and the ‘rents don’t see eye-to-eye on much, so he chose to see the boys tomorrow…

I spent a lot of time last night thinking about how much life has changed in the past year…and I keep wondering how much more it will change in the next year, but that’s a post for another day…

This Christmas, with it’s familiarities and differences from years past, was a good day…and really, that’s all that matters right now…

A small gift I received this year hit me like a ton of bricks and, to me, epitomizes this new life we have:

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Merry Christmas

While I’m writing this it’s still Christmas Eve…but Christmas is close…and while I should be asleep, I can’t sleep…

My mom and The Step are here tonight, and even though it’s strange to have someone here with me, it’s also very comforting…I knew after Thanksgiving my mother was not going to let me spend another holiday without family around…I had to admit to myself today that I’m isolated – whether self-imposed or not, I don’t know…

I was on edge waiting for them to get here today…and it was perfect…my mom came in, hugged the boys, and started baking…the irony is that my mother was the worst cook ever when I was a kid, but she’s great now…she made my house smell so good…and we did what we do best…we laughed our asses off – remembering her cooking experiments when I was younger…

The boys went to bed fairly easily…not sure how I got that lucky, but no complaints! I wasn’t able to do as much as I would have liked for Christmas, but thanks to my mom, the boys will have a great Christmas…and now the whole house is asleep – except for me…I’m wired…it could be all the cookies I’ve eaten…it could be the huge Diet Coke I drank tonight…it could be the excitement of Christmas…or it could be that I can’t stop thinking about how much has changed in one short year…and how I’m hoping for more changes in the year to come…

If someone had told me last Christmas that the next Christmas would have been like this – divorced, moved, and learning how to function as a single mom – I would have laughed…we often get complacent with our lives and forget how quickly things can change…until they do…now that I’ve been reminded of that, I can’t help but wondering what else is in store for me…I’m almost anticipating whatever changes are coming my way…I’ve survived the worst, and I need to believe that whatever comes next will only be better…

Merry Christmas to everyone who loves me…to everyone who finds me curious…to everyone who has the patience to make it through my ramblings…I love and appreciate you all…

Christmas Spirit…Sort Of…

I lost my weekend “off” for this weekend…I had the pity party on Thursday, sucked it up on Friday, and made the best of it both yesterday and today…like everything in my life, it was actually for the best…Looking at my crazy schedule for the next several weeks, this really was the best weekend to get everyone geared up for Christmas…

In another first, I had to figure out the tree situation this year…last year, The Ex and I retired our sad hand-me-down 4 foot artificial tree we’d been using for nearly 10 years (and it was several years old by the time we got it) and went to a live tree…I really wanted a live tree again this year, but couldn’t figure out how I was going to make it work logistically…someone probably could have tied it to the truck for me, but were they also going to come home with me, help me unload it, get it into the house, and then put it on the tree stand? Yeah, probably not…and I know friends would have helped, but I get tired of asking for help all the time…

So we went artificial…but I got a pretty good deal…Dollar General, 6 foot, white (I let Aidan choose the color) noble fir – only $25…yeah, can’t beat that…not pre-lit, but since we bought lights last year, I didn’t think it was necessary…I was wrong…

Here’s the thing…The Ex and I had gotten into that normal thing of some jobs were mine because I was the girl, and some were his because he was the boy…Christmas tree lights were his job…oh holy hell, those were aggravating…first I strung them up backwards, so my plug was at the TOP…yeah, I admit it…but just draping them evenly around the tree was a pain the ass…I promise I wasn’t feeling the Christmas spirit…

A naked artificial tree is an ugly thing…and for 5 minutes, very depressing, as I remembered last year, with the very real, very pretty tree…but, I forced myself to stop that line of thinking, because the boys could care less…they just wanted the tree up with the ornaments…by the they were done helping, it really was nice looking…

I took the boys to see Santa on Saturday…Aidan, who used to scream at the sight of anyone in costume, went right up to him and started talking…my little social butterfly…Sean refused to even look at him…It was strange to do the Santa thing with no extra person to wrangle little children, but for once, no biggie…

I’m realizing that as long as I focus on the boys for Christmas, its almost easy…That’s probably a big ole duh, right? I never said I was very bright…

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