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Pity Party Over & Lessons Learned

The pity party and the lessons are actually two completely separate things, but if I hadn’t called it quits to the pity party, I never would have had space in my head to learn the lessons…

I had an absolute pity party for about a week…most of it was in my head…some of it was not

Was I completely justified in my feelings?  Hell yeah…should I have given into them?  Probably not…the reality is that there are times when I will…I have to accept that…and not be ashamed of it…this is hard…it was hard under normal circumstances…it’s even harder now…but if my choices are the life I have now or the life I had over a year ago, I’ll take this any day…

I really did have a moment when I wondered why I even bothered trying to make my life different…I considered, for a fleeting moment, simply accepting my life as it is…wow, that was freaking depressing…

So, after a ridiculous amount of tears last night when I went to bed, I did what I usually do…I decided to put it to the side…tamp down the feelings…and move on…

I woke up this morning in a different frame of mind…not better – but different…

Sean was still sick…he graduated to vomiting…so off to the doctor we went…and I learned a series of lessons today:

  • When a toddler has diarrhea, there are never enough diapers or wipes.
  • When a toddler has diarrhea, you will run out of both – while you’re out in public.
  • People in a waiting room will wonder why you brought the bright, sweet toddler to the doctor because he’s so damn active – until he pukes all over himself, and then they will wonder no more.
  • When said toddler pukes all over himself, you will forget everything in life except the need to find something to clean it up with – including the credit card, phone, and wallet that were in your hand.
  • While desperately seeking paper towels, a sponge, anything, you will frantically try the handle of the ladies room.  And glare at the woman who had the audacity to be using it first.
  • Later, that sweet, pathetic little toddler, who has managed to make a complete recovery will be excited to take a drive in the car.
  • A few moments later, he will also be a screaming mess because you’re making him wait in the car line to pick up his big brother.
  • He will still be pissed moments later, even though you’ve promised him a drink from Sonic.  He doesn’t give a shit.  You made him wait – everyone must suffer the consequences.
  • The sickly toddler will perk up when he realizes you’re going to the library.  He will find a DVD.  He will wait patiently while Brother finds a book.  He will promptly have a bout of diarrhea that smells horrific enough to clear an entire room.
  • He will happily wander the library with the mess in his diaper, moving it ALL around – and I mean, ALL around in the diaper.  His brother will follow him around, holding his nose, and loudly saying, “Ewww, Sean, you have di-uh-RE-UH!”  There will be NO use of the library voice at this moment.
  • You will quickly check out, run to the car, and discover all you have is a pair of Pull-Ups and Boogie Wipes (designed for noses, not asses).
  • You will make do.  You will also get poo on his shirt.  You will drive home with a half naked toddler who feels muuuuuuuuch better.

I swear, there are some life lessons I could do without.

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