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Step One, Done!

I have spent the past week (or more) working on my big, fat idea – and the first step involved re-reading every post I’ve ever written…that’s 235 posts for anyone counting…in 14 months I’ve done a lot of writing…

Here’s what I learned by doing this – I can be determined, anxious, sad, funny, sarcastic, emotional, hopeful and above all whiny…I know I needed to work through everything in my head in order to get to this point, but good Lord, really?!  Oh well, it’s a part of who I am and I embrace the good, bad, and ugly…

Now, I have 2 pages of topics/ideas of what to write about.  The next step (officially known as Step Two) is to start organizing the ideas into an outline of sorts…once I get that done, the writing begins…/gulp.

The writing is the fun but scary part…well, here goes nothing!

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I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends…

If this morning was any indication, today should have been a crappy, crappy day…it wasn’t, by the way. 

Sean’s daycare was late opening up today…an hour late…I dropped Aidan off first, Sean dumped the rest of his breakfast all over his lap, I cleaned everything up, and decided to get breakfast for myself and apple juice for Sean at Sonic.  The system was down and they could only take cash, which I almost never carry…I went to another Sonic (because I REALLY like Sonic first thing in the morning), got breakfast, and then spilled Sean’s apple juice all over me…dammit…dropped Sean off (finally) and made it to work 30 minutes late…I really, REALLY hate being late…that doesn’t sound so bad in retrospect, but if this had happened last week,  I would probably have been in tears from pure frustration…

The difference?  I’m rested, rejuvenated, refreshed, and ready to go.  It wasn’t a full weekend off, but it was something.  I knew I needed it, I’ve needed it for weeks now, but I didn’t know how much good a little rest could do for me…Work was a breeze…I checked things off my VERY necessary to-do list, felt like I accomplished something, and left work without feeling harried…every day should feel like that!

But the most important thing (and it’s something I need everyone’s help with) was a conversation I had with Big Brother and Mom #2…I was explaining to Big Brother that my divorce could be final by mid-August – 6 months from start to finish…and he asked me how I was going to celebrate…

I don’t know if I can “celebrate” my divorce because that doesn’t feel right to me…I don’t want to take joy in Almost Ex’s pain…so I’m trying to reframe it in my mind…I’ll celebrate a new beginning in my life (it sounds much better)…Big Brother was not impressed when I said I was planning on getting a new tattoo…I’m not getting it because I’m getting a divorce…I like tattoos, and even I can save $50 in the next 6-8 weeks…

Mom #2 and Big Brother presented an idea (that I rejected out-of-hand at first) that I should plan a trip after the divorce is final…that I should travel on my own somewhere…my first reaction was, “Hell no!” But that’s my typical reaction…I’m always nervous about trying new things…but then I started to think about it, and I started getting excited at the idea of taking a trip (even a small one)…

So here’s where I need the help of friends, acquaintances, random readers of this blog (all three of you)…I don’t want anyone to tell me where to go, but I definitely want to hear your ideas.  I’ve not been to a lot of places so I’m pretty open…would it be cool to know someone when I get there? Sure…is it necessary? Not really…and I’m willing to fly or drive…And I can already hear my mother’s concern, so let me say that no, I wouldn’t drive my crappy SUV (nicknamed Bubba), I would rent a car…and if I fly, it would probably be Vision Airlines because they’re cheap…and yes, Mama, I would get a CLEAN hotel in a safe part of town…

I don’t usually ask for this, but I want people who read this to comment with ideas…either here or on my Facebook page…the sooner I decide where to go, the sooner I can start figuring out how to make it work…Help me out, so I can celebrate my new beginning in an unforgettable way!

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