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Me Time

What is that saying about the best laid plans? Yeah, I don’t know either, but sometimes it sucks being a planner…when the plan doesn’t happen…

I was supposed to go out of town on Saturday…but that didn’t happen…so then I held out hope for Sunday…nope, nada…thankfully, I’m not a person who enjoys being miserable, so I made the best of it…

I dropped the boys off with the sitter who will watch them while I’m out of town for work on Saturday…I tried to combine a personal trip with a professional trip and the only part of the plan that’s coming together is the professional trip…*sigh*….and knowing that my plans had been thrown into chaos, I still dropped them off with the sitter…I needed the “me time” desperately…

It took me a while to figure it out…when I got home Saturday morning, I cleaned my house, exercised, and then cleaned my car…until Mom #2 called and said to meet at her place at 1:30 p.m. for a surprise…a surprise that I was driving to because I have the “nice car”…it was worth the trip! A facial and a pedicure just because….holy shit! I’ve never had a facial and it’s been two months since my last pedicure (I was resigned to painting my own nails this week as all my money was spent on a babysitter.)…then we went to dinner and THEN to a movie…whoa…an actual girls day/night…huh? These really happen? People actually do this?? Guess so…

By Sunday, I had the hang of this whole relaxing thing…I had saved all my gift cards from my birthday thinking I would be spending some quality time out of town, shopping with someone…when that didn’t happen, I took myself shopping…four stores later, and I’d only spent $15 of my own money…not including the CUTEST hair cut…

 

See? How cute?! That one thing made my whole day…well, and the fact that I found a suit (that FITS) for $21…my first suit…I feel like a big kid…and yes, I’m taking it on my trip this week…

I ended Sunday night with a couple of glasses of wine, some dark chocolate, burning candles, and a good book…that’s how every single day should end, I think…well, I can think of a couple other ways, but if I have to be alone, that’s how my day should always end…

Today, well, today, I slept…I didn’t get out of the bed until 10am…only to shower and go scrounge for food…I took myself to lunch…came home…finished my book…and took a nap…and even though it’s not quite 7pm right now, I could go back to sleep…but I want to finish my wine and start a book, so no sleep yet…

I’m not used to being by myself…I’m not used to just doing what I want to do…but I like it…and, be surprised, I actually miss the boys a little…which means by the end of this week, I’ll miss them a lot…that’s a nice change of events…I should have more me time, I guess…

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I Wouldn’t Mind Being Pampered…Maybe

I’ve been sick all week…and since it’s the second time in a few weeks, I’m feeling a little sorry for myself…wishing someone would pamper me, baby me, take care of me…except, I don’t allow that kind of thing…not since I was a kid and didn’t have a choice…

And that got me to thinking…why do I want to be pampered?  What does it mean to be pampered – what would I expect someone to do for me?  And why I haven’t I been pampered in the past?

I think I know the answer to the first one…like most of us (I hope!), the few times I was sick as a kid, my parents took great care of me…sometimes a little overzealously – the only time I ever had the flu, all my dad fed me for a solid week was Campbell’s chicken noodle soup and Saltines…and to this day, I detest chicken noodle soup…but I think there’s something comforting about having a parent take care of you when you’re in need…I hope Aidan and Sean feel that way about me one day…

I’m not sure what it means to be taken care of- I think it’s different for everyone…today, I would have said it was someone carrying Sean for me (he’s sick, too, so he’s definitely being babied)…or cooking dinner for me…but I don’t really know which answers the last question…

Why haven’t I ever been pampered, coddled, or babied?  Easy, because I don’t allow it…hell, I don’t even take good, well-meaning advice when I’m sick…you think I’m actually going to sit still and let someone else do everything for me?  I have no need to analyze this one to death…it’s just how I am…it’s probably a trust thing (and I have plenty of trust issues)…

This isn’t a woe-is-me, poor Michaela kind of thing…this is a genuine curiosity at why I have a desire for it when I’m sick and what it really means.  If I know what pampering is, I’ll recognize it when someone’s doing it…and then tell them to stop that shit and let me take care of myself…

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