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Step Two, Done

…and I’m procrastinating on the most important part.

I’ve got all my ideas organized into sections…I just need to start writing.  And I’m procrastinating…

But progress is still being made on my big, bad, scary plan

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Step One, Done!

I have spent the past week (or more) working on my big, fat idea – and the first step involved re-reading every post I’ve ever written…that’s 235 posts for anyone counting…in 14 months I’ve done a lot of writing…

Here’s what I learned by doing this – I can be determined, anxious, sad, funny, sarcastic, emotional, hopeful and above all whiny…I know I needed to work through everything in my head in order to get to this point, but good Lord, really?!  Oh well, it’s a part of who I am and I embrace the good, bad, and ugly…

Now, I have 2 pages of topics/ideas of what to write about.  The next step (officially known as Step Two) is to start organizing the ideas into an outline of sorts…once I get that done, the writing begins…/gulp.

The writing is the fun but scary part…well, here goes nothing!

Life Is Life

Here’s something I know about myself…I take things (and people) very seriously…sometimes too seriously.  One rough day in life, at work, at home, you name it and any feelings of hope or optimism that I felt the day before vanish…today was that day…

As tired as I was yesterday, I still managed to clean, to accomplish things, to make plans, to feel hope about the future – on different levels…today…one rough day later, and I couldn’t even manage a decent conversation with BBFF…I was grumpy, I was anxious, I was mopey…I felt unappreciated…I felt unloved…I felt unimportant…nothing was good enough, nothing was right…life sucked…

Except it really doesn’t, and I know it doesn’t.  Life is life…good, bad, and ugly…when I stepped outside of myself and looked in, I saw how ridiculous I was being…it’s a day…one day…tomorrow will be better…or at least the same…even if it’s bad, it’s still ok…

I have things to look forward to…I have things to make happen…I have plans…I have dreams…I have a life to live.

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