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The Potty Chronicles – Potty Training Hell

The last battle in the war known as potty training is being fought as we speak…I am determined I will be the victor…but war is hell, y’all…

Sean wears big boy Thomas the Tank Engine underwear to daycare…he wakes up and asks to use the potty…he picks out his own underwear every day…knock on wood, no accidents at daycare…he comes home and uses the potty before dinner…

And then it happens…

I begin cooking dinner, confident that Sean will last until bedtime with no accidents…he waits until my back is turned and walks to a dark corner by the TV…and he poops! In his underwear!! And sometimes he’ll wait a while to tell me!!!!

Twice this week, I have cleaned out poop after one of these episodes…but today was the worst…

On our way to pick up Aidan, I smell something…you know that smell…you don’t have to be a parent to know the smell of shit…

“Sean-Sean, did you poop?”

“Yes…Mom….my.”

Oh Lord he was still going, and I had to go get Aidan…no other option…I rolled down all the windows and breathed through my mouth…

Once we got home dinner was on hold until bathtime was over…and the nighttime diaper went on…

I am so proud about how far he’s come just 6 weeks before his third birthday, but good Lord, this part is potty training hell!

The Potty Chronicles – Potty Whisperer

Have I mentioned before that The Step is a freaking Potty Whisperer?

Just 24 hours with The Step and Sean will wear his big boy underwear AND sit on the potty – the BIG one…no special little potty seat needed.  He puts on his own underwear – albeit backwards…he stays dry all night….

Well, until The Step left…and then he cried when I made him sit on the potty…he tried to refuse to wear his underwear…he went to a corner and pooped in his diaper (he still sleeps in diapers)…

But I listened to the Potty Whisperer…and I invoke his wrath as necessary with Sean…

There will be tears – both Sean’s and my own – but we will make it to the other side of this whole potty training thing…hopefully in one piece…

 

The Potty Chronicles – I’m Not Brave Enough Yet

Ok, because I’m sure everyone is dying to know how Sean is doing with the potty training thing, I’ll tell you…

Great! If you’re his daycare…stays dry all day, uses the potty at the designated times, and does a little happy dance about…woohoo!

Crappy (no pun intended), if you’re at our house.  I’ve slacked off, I know.  But progress has been made in one area – he doesn’t cry when I take his diaper off, forcing him to use the potty!  Woo…hoo?

When he does use the potty, like he did today, he’s very proud of himself…

“I pooped, Mommy!  Look!”

I do all the obligatory things…”Yay, Sean-Sean!”  “Woohoo! You did it!” “Good job!”  The whole time I’m thinking, “Oh holy hell, how does something that size come out of someone so small?!”

When I need to clean his butt, I asked him to lean forward a little…he does a downward facing dog pose for me…it’s simultaneously the cutest thing ever and a little gross…

“I farted, Mommy!”  And then he giggles…every time.  Thanks, dude.

The one thing I’m not ready for is the big boy underwear…he has it.  I just haven’t found the courage to let him wear it.  I like the diaperless thing – when he’s got to go, he can sit down on the potty by himself…no help from me required…until he’s done the deed, of course.

I know it’s not a big deal to clean up a mess…hell, I’ve been wiping his butt for nearly three years, now…what’s a little more, right?

Oh well, one more thing I’ll need to get over…and if it means he finishes with diapers and Pull-ups quicker, it’s ultimately worth it…

The Potty Chronicles – Gettin’ There

We have had a few successes recently…I say “we” like I’ve done something…ha!

Sean can and will use the potty at daycare…woohoo!

Sean can and will cry everytime I take his Pull-ups off at home so he can easily use the bathroom…

He doesn’t have the dexterity yet to pull his pants down and then back up, but he knows when he’s got to go…at home, though, he’s perfectly happy to use the diaper or Pull-up…underwear or bare-butt – that makes him nervous…

Sometimes I take pity on him and just let it be for the day…there’s nothing more pathetic than a toddler who’s afraid to get off the potty…

I think he only tolerates his teachers and me because he knows he’s getting some candy…I hope the candy as bribery thing doesn’t last into adulthood…

The Potty Chronicles – Oh, Sean…

Can I just say that I hate potty-training?

Today was not easy…I bribed Sean into sitting on the potty with Skittles…and he sat for so long he finally did number 2… but he wasn’t happy about it. He didn’t want to high-five, do a happy dance, or anything (of course, I don’t blame him – when was the last time you celebrated a bodily function?)…he even ran away when I started to wipe his butt…there’s nothing better than chasing down a toddler, cornering him in the laundry room, and forcing him to take a butt-wiping…

We sat on the couch and started watching Spongebob (Sean’s new love)…I asked every few minutes, “Sean, do you need to potty?” And always received an emphatic, “No!” And then we both got sucked into the Sponge…20 minutes later, as I’m helping him off the couch, I realize he’s been sitting in a puddle…on my couch…my fabric, not easily cleaned, couch…dammit…

I know there are people who will say that you have to perservere through moments like that, but the boy was willing to sit in a cold, wet puddle rather than use the potty…so today, it was back to the diaper…just for today…

I missed most of this with Aidan…and frankly, one week with The Step when he was three, and he was trained…hell, one weekend with The Step and Sean used the potty three freaking times! I think The Step is the Potty Whisperer and needs to look into a career change…

The Potty Chronicles – Ditching the Diaper

A week into this whole potty training thing, and I’m pretty sure there’s no real progress to speak of…last week, the potty sat in the corner largely ignored…until this past weekend…

Sean (and I) finally remembered the damn thing on Sunday…he pulled it apart, threw the pieces-parts around the living room, and yes, put the potty seat on his head again…

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I finally remembered a couple of tricks from the last debacle lesson from Aidan’s potty training days…take off the diaper! And make sure the mop and carpet cleaner are close at hand…

Sean did not like having his diaper removed for no apparent reason…until he felt the air down there…then he pulled up the bottom of his shirt, held it around his stomach, and roamed the house…there’s nothing like watching the baby dance to Thomas songs, bare-assed…shake it, baby!

I couldn’t get him to sit on the potty, though…I even used a little brotherly rivalry…Aidan was such a good sport and sat on it, while I pointed out that Big Brother was sitting on the potty and couldn’t Sean sit on the potty? I am so glad there were no witnesses…

And then it happened…the fascination with the privates…each other’s that is…Aidan almost couldn’t help himself…so I had to make him help himself…it’s awkward enough to watch a two-year find it, realize it’s there, and fall in love…its even worse when the six year old realize he’s not the only one with the privates

The potty chronicles continue…and I keep wishing I had paid more attention when Aidan was going through all this…

The Potty Chronicles – The First Day

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Here it is…the bane of my existence…possibly of Sean’s existence…but it’s also Facebook and blogging gold…I won’t deny that this will be fodder for hilarious posts and status updates for the next several months…

We almost didn’t get this today…I learned my lesson with Aidan…we started him too early and it took for-freaking-ever! He decided he didn’t want to and by God, he didn’t…so with Sean, I’ve been waiting…I think when he started coming into the bathroom with me, identifying what I was doing in there, and then asked to see (yes, this happened), then it was time…

I let Sean decide…he liked the idea of the Cars potty seat…but the first time we looked at it, he wouldn’t commit…it wasn’t until I walked away and started grocery shopping (we were in Wal-Mart, y’all) that he decided he couldn’t live without it…

I took it out of the box when we got home, while Sean was napping…Aidan was very excited about it…I’m a little afraid he’s going to try and use it…

Sean was not impressed when he saw it after his nap…Aidan took him on the full tour, though…”This is where you sit Sean-Sean…and this is where the pee and poop go…and here’s the handle to flush…but it doesn’t really flush…” He’s so helpful…

We did get him to sit on it for a while…he only looked mildly concerned…and only when Aidan got in his face and yelled, “Go potty, SEAN!!!!” And that point, we were done…

If this is any indication, I think he’ll be just fine…

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