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The Benjamin Boys Have Fun

Aidan finished 1st grade on Friday…why does that make me feel old?  I’m not old…he’s still just a little boy…but 2nd grade sounds like a big kid grade, doesn’t it?

With a desire for a good weekend for him and hell, just a good weekend for us all, I purposely kept us running the roads all weekend.

Aidan got his very own library card!

We had some water fun Saturday afternoon.

Aidan loved the splash pad…Sean loved the park.

Today, we started out with errands and ended at the beach.

Sean screamed for the first 30 minutes.  And then something clicked in his head, and he realized he loved it!

See what I mean?

And we had frozen yogurt for dinner…yes, that’s what I said…I let two little boys eat crap for dinner.  Special treats are supposed to be special, right?

Mom #2 came with me for today’s adventure, thankfully.  Aidan and Sean are my water babies, and I could never have kept up with them both by myself.

For the first time EVER I really don’t want this weekend to end…even with the whining, the diarrhea (yes, it’s an ongoing thing), and few small tantrums, I had a great time this weekend!  And from the looks on their faces for most of the weekend, so did the boys.

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Too Much Down Time

I’ve been begging for down time (mentally begging) for ages now…I’ve wished for it…I’ve coveted it…I’ve dreamed about it…until I got it…and what I never saw coming was that I don’t do well with too much time on my hands and not enough to do…

I guess it goes back to being able to live in my head a lot of the time…with too much time to myself, I naturally drift back there…and I was unprepared for how it hit me today…

I’m still not good with the whole alone thing…pretty sad for someone who purposely chooses not to have a large group of friends…I really didn’t feel like running around today…I wanted to be by myself…but I think it was the worst thing I could have done…a quiet, dark house with nothing to do (other than 2 loads of laundry and a load of dishes), and I was in a low mood all day…just ask BBFF, he’ll tell you I was no picnic…

It’s probably not healthy, but I think I need to keep myself busy…I need to have something to focus on…I need to keep my mind busy and working towards something…

So that’s what I’m looking for…the next thing to keep myself occupied, busy…

On the bright side, I actually enjoyed some time with the boys tonight and am looking forward to the weekend with them (ask me on Sunday if I still feel this way, though)…I’ve had a much needed break from them, and it’s brought back a little of my patience…Aidan and I had a tickle war tonight…normally I hate to be tickled…Sean was so sleepy, he let me cuddle with him, which was sweet and something I’ve missed lately…

So today I learned that I’m not good with too much down time…hopefully I’ll fill it up in a less insane way then the way it’s been filled in the last year or so…

An Unexpected Treat

I sort of got the night off tonight…Almost Ex picked up the boys late this afternoon.  Because he doesn’t plan anything (I was always the planner in our relationship), he couldn’t tell me how long he would have them. It frustrated me to no end…and then I reminded myself that some break is better than no break. 

Three glorious QUIET hours later, he called…and gave me a great surprise.  He was keeping Aidan for the evening but I needed to come get Sean.  Now, that sounds really bad, right?  Nope.  Aidan is getting a special treat from his dad – his first trip to the movies.  I’m pretty excited for him (and a little envious).  Sean would never have made it through the movie, so he’s with me tonight.  And since I consider him the “easy” one between them, this is a piece of cake.

Almost Ex kept asking why I looked so happy when I picked up Sean.  In my head, I’m like well, DUH, why do you think I look happy?! I’m on light duty tonight!  Aidan has pushed every button I have for two days straight.  I’m ready to ship him off somewhere…anywhere.  A night with his dad is a good place.

So what have I done with this relative freedom?  Well, my house doesn’t smell like dog anymore…it’s VERY clean.  And I’m online (as usual) working, blogging, Facebooking – a major addiction of mine…and I’m learning that there is not a DAMN thing on TV…no wonder I don’t mind watching Nick Jr all the time.  Extreme Couponing?  That is crazy shit…who needs 480 yogurts?! 

I have no clue how to handle quiet…I have the TV on, but I’m not watching it.  It’s just background noise…And I’m obviously not good at relaxing…I’ve got three things going on at once…but I definitely know how to appreciate a “sort of” night off!

Trying To Relax

If I don’t remember to relax, my head might explode!  I almost said I was learning to relax, but that implies that I don’t know what to do…I know what to do…implementation is the key.

I like to work, and I work a lot…I work hard, I just don’t play hard (yet).  If I see something that needs to be done, I do it. Everytime. No matter what.  But I’m going to make myself sick if I keep that up!  After 8 hours of sleep (what a luxury!), I shouldn’t wake up exhausted…but that’s exactly what’s been happening. 

Not relaxing is also leading to me freaking out, venting, and letting my emotions come right to the surface.  Be shocked, most of my emotions aren’t exactly positive right now. 

So, I’m working on the whole relaxing thing…for the past couple of nights, I haven’t answered emails late at night, talked to Almost Ex, or cleaned like a crazy woman…

I’ve read a book…I’ve listened to music…I’ve talked to my friends and my mom…I’ve gone to bed early…I’m a much more sane person…and I’m learning to live in a house that looks like a bomb went off. 

The next step is to buy a bottle of White Zinfandel so I can have a glass and reeeeally relax.

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