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Working On Mother of the Year

Apparently, hope springs eternal, and I’ve decided to try for the totally real fictitious Mother of the Year award…

I had lunch with Aidan for Thanksgiving…mmm, pressed turkey and canned green beans…I had lunch with Sean for Thanksgiving….mmm, turkey lunch meat and canned green beans…clearly, I didn’t attend for the culinary horrors delights offered for lunch…after last weekend’s scare, I feel compelled to be more involved…I just want to do stuff with them…

And because I’m a glutton for punishment feeling this way, we’re going to go see Santa as he arrives at the mall tomorrow…with the other hundreds of shrieking children…yaaaay…the boys are excited, so that’s all that’s supposed to matter…my impending headache is nothing compared to that…

Then, because I’m insane a good mother, I’m driving my children to Georgia to see their father…actually, I’m driving to Georgia for him to sign necessary paperwork to move the sale of our old home along faster, as he claims he has no access to a printer or the ability to sign anything digitally (the only excuse I would believe)…to give you the scope of this, the drive to Georgia is over 5 hours – and we’re doing the trip in one day…yaaaay…I like a good adventure, and I plan to be as prepared as possible for this…a charged Nintendo DS, a charged iPad, snacks, drinks, blankies, and an understanding that we will stop to use the bathroom at least twice – each way…yaaaay…

Oh well, no one ever said winning a fake award would be easy…

 

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The Power Of A Good To-Do List

I’m tired, exhausted, weary, droopy, flagging (I looked up “tired” on thesaurus.com)…I’m at the end of my rope…I just want to lay down and sleep…I don’t have that luxury.

It’s so bad (and apparently, I look so bad) that the first thing people ask  me is, “Are you all right?”  And the answer is, “Of course, I am.”  And I am.  Some moments are harder than others, but I’m fine.  Sure, there are moments I’d like to give in to self-pity…last night, I did.  But for my own sanity, I can’t stay in that place…I have to shrug off the crap and move forward.

The worst part (this week) has been the feeling of paralysis…I have so much going on – professionally and personally – that its impossible to know where to start.  It took an enormous effort each day just to figure out what to tackle – and then get it done at my usual pace.  But I did it, and its taken a toll.  Now I’m on my 138th wind of the day…

Then I did something very simple…it’s so simple that I don’t understand why I didn’t do it on Monday…before I left the office today,  I made a to-do list for next week.  Ok, so it’s two full pages and it looks overwhelming.  But when I get into the office on Monday and I start getting things done, I can cross each task off the list…and ta-da, a sense of accomplishment is born. No more paralysis…

So tomorrow (not tonight because I can barely keep my eyes open), I’ll make a to-do list for the house.  And slowly (verrrry slowly), I will cross things off the list.  I won’t try to do it all in one day…but I will achieve a sense of accomplishment – which is MUCH better than feeling stuck in one place.

I’m a single mom with little-to-no help from Almost Ex, so there’s not much I can do about the tired thing…but I won’t let myself be overwhelmed to the point of paralysis anymore…it’s too draining…it’s too time-consuming…it’s not worth it.  I won’t give in to self-pity even though it would be easy to do…I will keep doing what’s hard (but right)…I will move forward, do the best I can for my boys and my career, and get to the other side of this period in my life…because I don’t want to imagine the alternative.

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