So I’m new to the idea of being single (still not technically single, but you know what I mean)…and I’m a people-watcher, an observer…I’ve made some observations recently based on what I’ve seen for myself and the personal issues of some of my friends…and I’ve come to a conclusion that’s not meant to offend and certainly does not apply to every guy, but here’s what I’ve discovered – Some boys are dumb.
So first, a little side-note: in the past few weeks, I’ve made a decision about how I will handle this blog when it comes to my (currently non-existent and unimportant) love life – without express permission from whoever that person ends up being (a long, long, long time from now), I won’t blog about the specifics of that part of my life. So just know, that what I’m about to say comes from what I’ve seen in general- some personally, some as an objective third-party…and remember, I’m a thinker…I can’t help but dissect some of what I see…
Don’t make us chase you. My personal rule is that I’m not chasing anyone – and I don’t expect anyone to chase me. A lot of what I see is in text – Facebook, text message, whatever. If a chick initiates a few conversations with you, AND you’re interested in her – return the favor. If she makes it obvious that she’s into you, just tell her or find a way to let her know. Have you ever seen the movie “He’s Just Not That Into You?” Trying to figure out the signs makes chicks nuts. Forget signs. Just be straightforward…me personally, I love straightforward – even when it’s not what I want to hear.
Don’t word vomit all over us. No, that’s not an out for not talking about how you feel. But think about what you say before you say it. Some things can’t be unsaid…some words can’t be forgotten, even if they’re forgiven. I have too many friends who can remember every detail of the moment when their boy said something hurtful or stupid that he didn’t really mean.
Don’t disappear on us or just stay away all together. Again this goes back to text – text messages, Facebook, whatever. If you talk to us one day, and then we don’t hear from you for three weeks, that’s confusing – especially if it becomes a pattern. Here’s the pattern I keep seeing – random text message from boy, enthusiastic response from chick, silence…two weeks later, urgent message from boy, no answer from chick (who’s fed up), three phone calls and an angry text from boy, argument with chick…If you only make me an option, don’t expect me to make you a priority.
I haven’t paid attention to the world of guys and girls since I was 18 – back when I thought I knew everything, but actually knew NOTHING. It’s amazing how a few years and a lot of life can give you perspective…I don’t think all men are really boys, but I do think the one’s who act like boys are dumb…I feel bad for my friends who go through crap with boys…I get annoyed when I feel myself getting sucked into crap with boys…
I can’t speak for other women, but here’s what I want – honesty and straightforwardness…the more real, weird, and uncomfortable the conversation, the better (to me). If you think someone is a cool chick, tell her. If you’re into her, tell her. If she’s not responding to it, move on – or stop trying to be subtle. Some of us (me, especially) are sort of dense when it comes to stuff like that, subtlety is lost on me.
Ok, so, for the men out there (if any guys even read this – and I have no clue if they do), I have a few questions for you. I genuinely want to know and I’m asking because, well, it’s my blog and I can…and because I like understanding stuff…note: I’m going to ask these questions, and I don’t really think I’ll get a response but if Ido, I’ll definitely be impressed:
1. Do guys really want girls to make the first move or is that just a bill of goods we’ve been sold by rom-coms and self-help books?
2. If a girl does make a move and you’re not interested, does that make it weird to be around her later – or is that something else that’s all in our head?
3. If a chick (inadvertently) shows her dorky side, does make us seem a little more normal or do you just walk away thinking, “What a dork!”? (Ok, that question is more for me because I have a LOT of dork moments.)