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So How Do I Feel?

Hell, I still don’t know.

This morning, while I was driving to work, I started to smile for no reason…I was thinking about officially being single, and I couldn’t help it…a little smile just appeared…

Immediately followed by every fear and insecurity I possess.  Man, that’s a downer. So I just put it out of my head.

It’s a surreal feeling to be married and in the next instant to NOT be married…and nothing has actually changed.  Maybe once I get my name legally changed, I’ll feel like things are different.

I’m realistic about some stuff (read: cynical) – I am a single woman with two children…that’s not exactly a high selling point.  While I have lost a lot of weight over the past few years, and look the best I’ve ever looked in my adult life, I still have the body of a woman who has given birth to those two children…so no swimsuit model over here.  And yeah, yeah, yeah, looks aren’t important, blah blah blah…

Looks aren’t important, but first impressions are everything.

So no, I still don’t know how I feel…I don’t know when I’ll celebrate…I don’t even know when I’ll get my next tattoo (which was supposed to happen once the divorce was finalized)…but it’s all good.  I won’t be sick forever, and maybe once the crud goes away, I can focus on this a little more…because I wouldn’t want to waste an opportunity to overanalyze the situation!

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