Sean’s entire three years on this planet have been documented via Facebook and WordPress. Go ahead, crown me Mother of the Year. Within moments of his birth, his picture (which included me looking like I’d been drug outside, beaten, run through the mud, and put up wet) was on Facebook.
The polar opposite of his brother, Sean keeps me on my toes. He looks at the world and comprehends more than I think a toddler should. A prankster at heart, he likes to make people (especially himself) laugh. And there is no greater joy for him than antagonizing the hell out of his big brother.
I admit that I pay more attention to his development and growth than I did to Aidan’s. Does it count that I took a few hundred more pictures of Aidan? Probably not.
Sean knows his letters, his colors, and his shapes (including octagon, y’all!). He knows his friends’ names and who he would prefer not to have to hang out with. He is naturally shy with new people and dogeys (aka dogs), but once he loves you, he loves you with his whole heart.
Happy birthday, Sean. I hope one day you appreciate that your brother is the one I practiced on first.
The pity party and the lessons are actually two completely separate things, but if I hadn’t called it quits to the pity party, I never would have had space in my head to learn the lessons…
I had an absolute pity party for about a week…most of it was in my head…some of it was not…
Was I completely justified in my feelings? Hell yeah…should I have given into them? Probably not…the reality is that there are times when I will…I have to accept that…and not be ashamed of it…this is hard…it was hard under normal circumstances…it’s even harder now…but if my choices are the life I have now or the life I had over a year ago, I’ll take this any day…
I really did have a moment when I wondered why I even bothered trying to make my life different…I considered, for a fleeting moment, simply accepting my life as it is…wow, that was freaking depressing…
So, after a ridiculous amount of tears last night when I went to bed, I did what I usually do…I decided to put it to the side…tamp down the feelings…and move on…
I woke up this morning in a different frame of mind…not better – but different…
Sean was still sick…he graduated to vomiting…so off to the doctor we went…and I learned a series of lessons today:
- When a toddler has diarrhea, there are never enough diapers or wipes.
- When a toddler has diarrhea, you will run out of both – while you’re out in public.
- People in a waiting room will wonder why you brought the bright, sweet toddler to the doctor because he’s so damn active – until he pukes all over himself, and then they will wonder no more.
- When said toddler pukes all over himself, you will forget everything in life except the need to find something to clean it up with – including the credit card, phone, and wallet that were in your hand.
- While desperately seeking paper towels, a sponge, anything, you will frantically try the handle of the ladies room. And glare at the woman who had the audacity to be using it first.
- Later, that sweet, pathetic little toddler, who has managed to make a complete recovery will be excited to take a drive in the car.
- A few moments later, he will also be a screaming mess because you’re making him wait in the car line to pick up his big brother.
- He will still be pissed moments later, even though you’ve promised him a drink from Sonic. He doesn’t give a shit. You made him wait – everyone must suffer the consequences.
- The sickly toddler will perk up when he realizes you’re going to the library. He will find a DVD. He will wait patiently while Brother finds a book. He will promptly have a bout of diarrhea that smells horrific enough to clear an entire room.
- He will happily wander the library with the mess in his diaper, moving it ALL around – and I mean, ALL around in the diaper. His brother will follow him around, holding his nose, and loudly saying, “Ewww, Sean, you have di-uh-RE-UH!” There will be NO use of the library voice at this moment.
- You will quickly check out, run to the car, and discover all you have is a pair of Pull-Ups and Boogie Wipes (designed for noses, not asses).
- You will make do. You will also get poo on his shirt. You will drive home with a half naked toddler who feels muuuuuuuuch better.
I swear, there are some life lessons I could do without.